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— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) July 20, 2020

'Teacher wishes she could inspire one of the more popular students'

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Obama will tell schoolchildren to 'run for the door'

Scott Ott, editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, has obtained a leaked draft of President Obama's upcoming speech to the nation's schoolchildren. Ott reports:

A draft copy of President Barack Obama's planned September 8 address to America's public school children tells students that "If you want to grow up to be like me, you should beg your parents to put you in private school, right now."

Although Obama attended public school in Indonesia early in life, he soon switched to a private Catholic school, and from fifth grade through graduation went to a private college-prep school in Hawaii. His own daughters now attend a private school in Washington D.C. ...

On Tuesday, the president will bypass parents, taking his message directly to kids in the classroom "in hopes that you'll pester Mom until she gets a second job to pay private-school tuition so you can escape the swirling vortex of ignorance and despair that is our government-run school system."

Read the whole thing here.

Graduation news

Public School House Rock!

School-employee labor unions impeached!

Greg Forster reports from Washington.

"How on earth would parents know which schools are best?"

This is a brilliant piece of satire, from the British sitcom Yes, Prime Minister. The Prime Minister has a brilliant idea for educational reform: Let parents choose where their children go to school. His cabinet secretary, Sir Humphrey, tries to defend the status quo.



Sir Humphrey's arguments will sound familiar, although he's more openly contemptuous of parents than school-choice opponents usually dare:

"You can't expect ordinary people to know where to send their children!"

"Parents have no qualifications to make these choices. Teachers are the professionals. Parents are the worst people to bring up children!"

Sir Humphrey doesn't think much of medical choice, either. At least he's consistent:

"I think letting people choose doctors is a very bad idea. Very messy. Much tidier to allocate people to [general practitioners]. Much fairer. Then we can even out the numbers, and every one has an equal chance of getting the bad doctors."

When the PM suggests abolishing the Department of Education if it gets in the way of his school choice reform, Sir Humphrey is appalled -- how can anything flourish without a government department to tend it. Another adviser fires back:

"Government departments are tombstones. The Department of Industry marks the grave of industry. The Department of the Environment marks the grave of the environment. And the Department of Education marks where the corpse of British education is buried."

Sir Humphrey's final defense of the Department of Education's raison d'être:

"Who would plan for the future?"

"Are you saying that education in Britain today is what the department planned?"

"Well, of course not!!"

(Via Club for Growth.)