As I walk into the cafeteria, and wait for the group of girls to come in for lunch, kids are shoving and pushing around each other. I overhear kids saying mean things about other kids, commenting on their shoes or clothes. Meanwhile, in the lunch line, others are exerting their social rank by pushing in front of other students already in line. It is a frenzy of the “cool” separating themselves from the “uncool.” Some kids just sit alone, while others clamor to be a part of where they are accepted. It is amazing the stress and tension that is involved for them to just find a table to sit down for lunch. One girl says, “No, we can’t sit at that table ... those girls pick on me.” Another girl states, “Yeah, only popular kids get to sit there.” I nod and move on, waiting for them to pick a place to sit.Hats off to the Mutual Girls Club for doing something to address the problem. Mutual's summer camp sounds like a terrific program. But I would suggest that more needs to be done.
When we finally sit down, I ask the girls how their day is going. Then I ask them what kinds of issues they want to discuss during our sessions. What I heard next there are no words for. Half of them say coming to school is so stressful because they are not accepted. Half of them admit to wishing they were in an alternative school program because the pressure of measuring up and the bullying is too much.
It is very disheartening. In an era where social media is all the rage, the atmosphere of school has changed tremendously. Kids are more concerned with how others view them and they are under constant pressure to keep up with the ever-changing trends. Teenagers are facing social issues and circumstances which are new, sometimes scary, and expressed more openly. Because of this bullying is at an all-time high, resulting in stories about kids with severe depression to kids getting into self-harm. The saddest part is that this is not only at middle school age, this is happening in the lower grades as well. This pressure of acceptance and being accepted takes the focus off what the school experience is supposed to be all about and Mutual saw an opportunity to present a fresh perspective and create a new attitude toward the atmosphere of school.
At the beginning of the program we ask the girls to honestly state what they feel about themselves. We have heard everything from, “I hate myself” to “I am worthless and no one likes me.”
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
‘The bullying is too much’
In a recent column in the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise ("Mutual Girls Club aims to empower change"), Bartlesville resident Brecca Croskey-Nwaukwa writes: